


Do you know that thing, of which the heart bleeds?

by LindtLuirae



Series: Infinity War Hurt Me, This is The Product [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Endgame, F/M, Gen, Spoilers, Tony's POV, ironstrange if you squint really close, tony's thought process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindtLuirae/pseuds/LindtLuirae
Summary: Tony never thought of himself as particularly selfless, but when he meets those endless blue eyes, sees the way Stephen’s fingers curl and one stands firm and absolute, he thinks to hell with it.





	Do you know that thing, of which the heart bleeds?

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was strangely therapeutic. I needed an outlet after rewatching Endgame, thus this piece.

**_The Beginning of The End_ **

Do you know that thing, of which the heart bleeds? Not the tragedy, but the inevitable, creeping approach of destiny.

The cruel hand of fate. The sharp-edged cards that slice, deeper and deeper. The thundering tides that sweep you away into nothingness.

Tony, for once, wishes he wasn’t a genius. That, for once, he wasn’t the man with all the answers.

Icy blue eyes seek him out and, for all he thought of Stephen as a heartless asshole, they are sad. Apologetic. Pleading.

And Tony knows then. How could he not?

It all leads to this. Spending three months in a cave in Afghanistan was so the Iron Man is born. Meeting Yinsen and losing him was for Tony to see, for the first time, what life is about. Losing Pepper—tasting copper on his tongue and acid in his throat and death in his veins—was just to know he’d shred the world to save her. Losing Peter only to realise the one thing he always desperately wanted was a family.

It’s not that difficult a decision to make... if all it takes to protect Morgan and Pepper is to shred himself instead of the world, he’d do it.

Tony never thought of himself as particularly selfless, but when he meets those endless blue eyes, sees the way Stephen’s fingers curl and one stands firm and absolute, he thinks to hell with it.

He’d known this would happen, hadn’t he? A hologram awaits his little girl at home and it hurts him in ways he never could have imagined—the thought that he’d never see her again. But it’s enough, knowing she’d live. Knowing Peter would live. Knowing Pepper would look after them.

The stones carve themselves into his suit, as ancient as time, as final as death. A path that etched itself into his soul, his legacy.

They say life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die and Tony’s mind is melting, shattering, splitting. There’s white light calling for him but he must… he should… Something… _Morgan…_

He anchors himself, sucks in a breath that gives him more pain than relief, grips onto that pain until he regains focus. The world is falling apart. His world is falling apart. He’s going to save it. But he takes a moment to memorise the look on Thanos’ face, to taste the blood in his mouth, to remember all the times he thought it was the end, and somehow foolishly hopes this could be another thing he walks away from.

But those are fickle thoughts that are swept away by the strong current of reality. Those thoughts belong to a weaker man and he is… he is…   _I… am..._

“ _I… am…”_ he manages with some struggle, “ _Iron Man.”_

And it’s like his soul lurched for escape with the release of those words. When he closes his eyes and snaps his fingers, he thinks of them. Of Morgan nestled between him and Pepper, breathing peacefully, safe and protected by this love that transcends time and oceans and aeons and ends with his life for hers, the ultimate sacrifice, his destiny.

He could live with dying for those he loves; with finally, and truly, becoming a hero. It was always about protecting them, it’s embedded in his bones, carved into his heart and burrowed in his lungs, the very essence of his being.

He stumbles, he falls, his end is near, he can taste it. But there’s an odd sense of relief that only lasts a flickering second. Life has never been kind to him, and now it won’t be able to take from him any more than it already has.

(But, ultimately, Tony knows otherwise. He is but a man, and all he wishes for right then is some peace of mind. But he can’t help but think about all the years lost from his future: watching Morgan grow, sending her to college, making love to Pepper, having another kid, and maybe another, why the hell not? And he knows, that life will continue to steal from him even when he’s six feet under, even when he’s got nothing left to give, and he thinks peace is for the ignorant, and that he is anything but).

“Mr. Stark… Mr. Stark you did it, we won… Mr. Stark… _Tony…_.”

Tony wishes he could talk but everything feels heavy and his mind is made of cotton. He wants to tell the kid it’s okay, that he chose this, that even if it hurts it’s okay, that he’ll watch over him and hopes like hell he’s able to.

Seeing Pepper makes him hurt in more ways than his body could handle but he thinks it’s fitting that she’s the last thing he sees.

“Hey, look at me… we’re going to be okay… you can rest, Tony...”

Hearing those words finally gives him that elusive little peace of mind he chased. He clings to it for a beat or two with the last of his strength.

_“You can rest now…”_

Yes… He’s just so tired, he just wants to rest for a little bit… blackness keeps creeping over his vision and he’s just... just so….

Somehow, as he drifts off, he finds himself thinking of a man who lived with the burden of knowing this, all along, thinks of icy blue eyes and jagged edges, a man who grit his teeth and held the weight of the future on his shoulders without complaint.

Tony hopes he finds some peace. That he saw a happy future at the cost of his life. And then Tony was no more.

But it’s okay. Part of the journey is the end.

 

_The End._


End file.
